Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
