my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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