My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Randomize
