Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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