There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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