Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
