oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
