wat bout pragnant strippers??
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
