fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
