When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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