Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
