Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she told me i tasted like america
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
