He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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