Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
