i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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