Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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