felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
