if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
i think im in europe. pls send help
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
