If that was your dad, he is hot
Can Purell be used as lube?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
