in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
