I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
