Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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