I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
