Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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