do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
