I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
