So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
