The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
