I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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