Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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