Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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