Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
