You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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