Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize