my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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