I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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