lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
