My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
