I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
