It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
