Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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