We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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