hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
