Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
