i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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