Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
