Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
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