3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
splinters make it hard to masturbate
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
