Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
