I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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