i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
