i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
