hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
We are two peas in an std pod
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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