I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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