Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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