Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
