omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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