she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
