Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
