Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
