who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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