so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Come see our sink grown plant.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
